Michelle: My wierd brainwaves

Saturday, November 13, 2004

My wierd brainwaves

This evening I realized how much of a dork I am. Access Hollywood was on, and they did this thing about Star Wars. I had to sit down and watch the whole thing. Which made up the whole subject in my brain. I was at the commisary today, minding my own business, and the same thing always happens. The women stare. Granted, I bring some of it on myself because I do have piercings. But today was different. The only reason why I noticed this particular woman was because it was in the mid 80's and she had a white sweater on. Well, she noticed me, then starts to bop around to the commisary music. She's showing off in front of me! I don't understand women! I am one, and I don't. This chick is dancing in the bread isle making sure I'm looking at her, then pulls her hair back so I can see her earrings. I look over to her husband and he's pushing the cart staring at her like,"What the hell are you doing?" I didn't quite know how to take it. Now I question myself about alot of things everyday, but I always know who I am. I have changed who I am once in my life, and I will NEVER do it again. But that woman made me think about myself. Now I have trouble keeping friends who are girls, but I only have ideas why. Do I intimidate them? I don't want their men, I don't want them, my man doesn't want them,.......that's all I can think women argue about. Is it a maturity thing? Was I a threat to this woman's ego? Was she just trying to impress me so I thought she was "cool?" I might come off to people different than I really am. I've been here on this base for damn near a year, and have 1 friend now. The first 2......a long story. Let's just say they are too conservative for me. I'm 22, not 80. And I'm not going to live like I'm stuck in the 50's housewife mode. Now what most people don't know about me is that I'm a bit shy. So I don't know how to take women like today. Do I say, "Wow, like your earrings." Or do what I did, and walk away laughing. Some women here are nice and make small talk on the elevators in my building, and my friends building. But when your alone in a little space, what else do you do besides stare at your shoes? Don't take this as whining or anything. I just don't get women.

posted by: Michelle | date & time: 2:13 AM | comments:

Comments

margilowry said...: Some girls/women never get over the "look at me" stage of teenagerhood. You know who your real friends are -- the ones who know you and love you anyway. (JUST KIDDING, honey!)

Seriously, this is something that I'm still dealing with -- AT FOURTY -- so I have no real pearls of wisdom, except be true to yourself and your hubby and your son, and everything else will fall in line.

Or not. ;)

ILY,
M; 3:18 PM
Rescue Mike said...: Michelle, as a 30 yo guy, who is in the "professional" job of Firefighting and Search and Rescue, AND as a guy who has suffered some "critisism"(sp?) for having my Tattoo and piercings, I can tell you "Don't Sweat It." Some people will envy you for being yourself. Just understand these people are paying you the highest form of compliment, THEY WISH THEY WERE YOU!; 8:03 AM

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