Okay, I want to talk about something on here and I can say what I want because this is my blog. I'm not looking for an argument, or a "there there you poor thing." It's just how I feel about friendship. If I have a screwed up way of looking at it, well that's my problem.This feeling I have isn't because of one situation, it's a pile of situations built up. I'm not naming names or pointing fingers. It's just that I don't want to feel like a bad friend anymore.
Now I don't have alot of close friends. And if anyone really knows me, they know that. I constantly question myself about things. Like am I a good person, am I a good mother, am I a good wife, am I a good friend. Well, I don't like it when someone adds to my plate, it's full enough. Now the friends I have I know are good friends without asking or testing them. If they weren't good friends, they wouldn't still be around. It's just like love. I know who loves me without even having to ask. Why test someone to see? It ridiculus. I've asked myself if I'm being oversensitive about this, but not in this circumstance I think. Time and time again I found myself having to prove my friendship and loyalty. Which I should have only done it once. Once should have been enough. But I found myself back there more than once. I know that people go through changes as you get older and sometimes friendships don't last, or they need to change up a bit. But test this....time and time again I proved my friendship and shouldn't have had to at all. You should have known I was a good friend by my actions and words. When you look back someday I hope you see that, because I will not do it again.
posted by: Michelle  |  date & time: 8:57 AM  |  comments: